Salty Sea Hags

It's been a long, hard salty summer. I've felt my face wither from the wind and the tide. I don't know what will become of me. All I know is that for us Sea Hags, it's only going to get longer and harder...and saltier.

My Photo
Location: Snake's Lair, Ivy Sea, Pitcairn Islands

I need help down here.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Extreme Makeover: Hag Edition

ABC is looking for new homes for EXTREME MAKEOVER. I filled out my application and sent it in yesterday!!

Here are the pictures I sent them of my snakes lair cave!

And here is a highlight from the application I submitted to ABC! Cross your fingers and raise your brooms....


Family Name: Hag
Address: Ivy Sea, Snake's Lair, Pitcairn
City: Ivy Sea State: ? Zip: 666
Home Phone:
howl 3 times, wave a rat's tail
Marital Status:
I am a widow, I put a spell on my husband (a Merlock) and he died.

List ALL members of household (Including Yourself):
Name Birthday Relationship Occupation One-Word Description
1. Me -
I am a Sea Hag, I am starting to get good at the internet and hunting sharks
2. Josh - a nice boy, starting to get into girls, hates me
3. Snakes and Serpents -
evil murderers

High School / Some College / College Degree / Graduate Degree
witch school
Employment Status (choose one):
Full Time / Part Time / Unemployed / Disabled / Student
hunting snake corpses/ being a hag

Approximate household income:
Less than $10,000 - X
$10,000 – $50,000
$50,000 – $100,000
More than $100,000

Is anyone in your household members of any theatrical unions (AFTRA, SAG,
etc.)? Y / N

Any previous TV appearances (list title/date):
I applied for VH1's "In Search of the Partridge Family" Reality TV Show. I made it to the second round by singing "So Far Away" by Carol King. However, I didn't get on because there were no hags on that show originally. Or demon witches.

Have you been or are you involved in a lawsuit?
No. But I put a spell on a sand shark for stealing sting ray flesh out of my cave. Which was against the law.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are my hero.

-Scissor Man

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